Oh, I'm fully expecting her to get back with her POS ex haha, but hey I'll do what I can for now and when she does I can take pleasure in mocking the hell out of her.

I got a little cooked but I'm okay!

I guess you could say he's got a… hit… on his hands.

*books plane ticket*

Down here we say Hung a fat Kanga when passing a particularly nasty poo in the hot summer sun.

"Aphex Twin has cultivated such a history of doing weird things that, when someone does a weird thing that seems Aphex Twin-related, people naturally just assume he’s behind it. More often than not, they’re right."

When I politely suggested she could jump on my gravy train I was politely arrested. What a bitch.

I was going to tweet some witty pot-based abuse at this maniac but then I got high and thought "Fuck it"… so really, she should be grateful.

I still wanked over it just to spite her.

He fucked a horse. While high.

"This item doesn't ship to your country"

Yes.

Isn't it funny that the people shrieking about the dangers of marijuana are the one's who would probably benefit the most from smoking it?

Hey! As a gamer, I completely resent this totally accurate statement.

"I need to take a shit, I've got a turtle head pokin' out heah!"

Haha I know, man, thanks. I was just being a smart ass. I like to think I have way more tact than that!

Not at all! I'm in that sweet, sweet spot between nice guy and snarky, stoner bad boy.

Sears catalog.

It still sucked.

Oh yeah, I'd be playing the long game if I decided to pursue anything here, any sudden moves or declarations of love will be accompanied with a swift kick to the nether-regions.