We tried to tell you these are unmanned oil rigs!

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

The only bad thing about staying at home to watch is a movie is that there aren't any kids having sex behind me.

Damn, Calvin! You look beat the hell up!

Well I did mean accoustic, but sounding with wood sounds dangerous and sexy.

It comes up at 4:30pm for me so I have to get my submissions in before I leave work at 5!
I was late home today but it was worth it.

Jenna Jameson? Old school, man! My Dad jerked off to her back in the day!

Amen, brother! The same douche bags you knew WISH they could get some of the fine ass larger girls that are kicking around, but most of them would have no idea how to satisfy such exquisite creatures! Their loss!

Dude, have no shame in rocking that shit! You go out and find the sexiest BBW you can and you fuck her, you fuck her good!

I'm happy to hear you've previously graced these shores with your presence and spunk before! Next time, hit me up!
With your big ass dick.

It's all too much, I didn't think about any of this! I just imagined cum flying everywhere then us all high fiving when it was over.

You've never had a coal and tweed 'pie? You ain't ever lived guv'nor!

Who wants to fucking piss all over me?

You're fucking hilarious, you write with an enviable diction, and I like getting upvotes from you.
Three reasons to stick the fuck around here with us!

It absolutely felt that way, yes! How can I satisfy 2 people AND myself? Luckilly they had fun without me, but it really was like, the most unsexiest situation i've been in for a while, and all because I psyched myself out.
Be careful if you ever do indulge in this sexual configuration haha!

Would they settle for a 6 minute accousting set by me in lieu of alcohol? Or maybe I could pass the bong around?

Yeah if anything, I think next time I wanna be the one to walk in on something like that, and be all like "ello ello ello whats goin on 'ere then?!" like im delivering a pizza in 1920's London. The sexiest decade!
But seriously, cheers man, can't promise I'm gonna cut back on the porn though!

(EDIT)

(EDIT)

(EDIT)