I think there is such a thing as Islamophobia — the people who react with "You get the FUCK OUTTA MY COUNTRY" as soon as a perfectly nice person says they just finished up at the mosque are clearly Islamophobic. Just as not every criticism of Islam is Islamophobic, not every criticism is valid and rational, either.

That…

You should name it ümlaüt

Maybe regional, but I've always said "tuna fish sandwich"

Fucking Handmaid's Tale if this shit is approved.

"In that moment, they choose someone else over their partner, and that hurts."

No one who makes the trains run on time could ever be a bad person!

"Cheating is inherently a comparison between you and someone else, where your spouse has declared that he prefers the other person."

Oh, I think your experience is absolutely common. Even in things not related to this discussion at all! The problem with feelings, emotions and urges is that they're not super logical or easy to control. We can absolutely feel betrayed even if it doesn't make logical sense, and I understand that.

Notice how nobody expressed their disbelief at your POV on cheating.

If you looked at my previous post, I did specify "instant marriage killer." If you want to put words in my mouth and pretend that I said infidelity is the only thing that ends marriages, I guess go ahead.

"Stripping the act of cheating to touching stranger's genitals is disingenuous and you know it."

Sometimes it's…

Sure, if you can't bring yourself to love your partner anymore, it probably has to be ended. The point is, why would a one night stand provoke that response? I just can't comprehend how you could love someone one day, find out they rubbed genitals with someone one night a few years ago, and then suddenly all that love…

Suffice it to say, I very much disagree. I think sexual energy can be just as intoxicating as gambling (or, like, intoxicants).

I guess it depends on what you mean by "want to." Most people in a monogamous relationship don't want to cheat, don't want to hurt their partners, but most of them are tempted to have sex with another person at some point.

Dr. Morriss-Roberts conducted a study with eight subjects

But I mean, can't that line of thinking be applied to any fuck-up? Bad decisions aren't logical. Humans are pretty fucking terrible at logic.

This just goes to my previous statement. If your partner gambled away $50k, you would be mad because they didn't go through that same logic. "This is a bad decision, lauren will…

Those other things aren't discrete actions, though. Being an alcoholic is more akin to being a serial cheater or carrying on an affair. There's almost no single action, short of a serious crime like murder or something, that is treated as a no discussion, no thought marriage ender like on night when a partner's…

"If it isn't fair for me to judge someone else for not leaving a cheater, then it really isn't cool for someone to judge me for doing so. We all get to draw our boundaries around what's important and what we need. Someone telling me sexual infidelity shouldn't be a big deal to me is someone saying that my needs are…

No, I realize that — my question is, why? Why is infidelity so far removed from the other forms of broken trust?

That's fair. I don't think cheating is okay, and I agree with the general expectation that people don't cheat with the caveat that people aren't perfect. So maybe my point of view is that we should expect our partners to successfully hold to every promise they make, but not necessarily be shocked if they fail one or…

On the flip side, microwaves generally don't burn the shit out of whatever I'm cooking. Toaster ovens have a tendency to do that unless I'm watching it like a hawk.