Don’t be like Johnny, Spidey.

“Huh?”

That’s what sucks about great mystery stories. Once you know how they end, they lose a little something. That’s why the ones people come back to most often are character driven and atmospheric.

It’s NOT a cookbook?!?... *PFFFFT*

Hercule Poirot was inside us all along.

I’m pretty sure I know it. Hercule Poirot was dead the whole time, right?

How did he send his letter? They met late at night in a parking garage. It had been raining. The letter was in a manila folder with the word CONFIDENTIAL written in red. Stone was wearing a tan rain coat. O’Neal had sunglasses and a fedora on. A dog barked in the distance.

I am so having fun roulette-wheeling out “Richard Linklater’s film Slacker”:

Holy Shit I’m picturing Oliver Stone, in his Russian Bunker, wearing a bathrobe, sipping a Winter Dream Tea, and reading O’Neal’s piece on the Av Club... do you think he’s a regular reader, or does he just Google himself repeatedly everyday to see what new articles pop up mentioning him? I’d like to think both...

O’Neal snark in Newswires is the only thing giving us hope in this post Kinjapocalypse world.

Lee Harvey Oswald was after the Jack Ruby!

My cynicism, like my clothing and my speech and my everything, has never been fashionable!

Note that he refers to O’Neal’s “six pages of snide dismissal” - I’m guessing he had someone print it out so he could read it.

Two words: Reverse Vampires.

He has one, he just can’t get out of the grays.

Take THAT, Richard Linklater! 

He probably expects to get paid for user-generated content, whereas most of the editors and contributors are content with Virtual Internet Recognition Fun Bucks (not redeemable at any Internet E-Store)

Oh my god, Oliver Stone is a full-on internet conspiracy theorist. I guess it was bound to happen, but this is amazing. How did he send this letter, Sean? Does he trust e-mail? Did he send a courier?

“I also do not consider a reference to Richard Linklater ‘s film Slacker to be an informed comment on either the murder of President Kennedy, the cover up that ensued, or my 1991 film JFK.”

I wish that was the whole letter.