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In most places they have to find you in the car with the keys in the ignition to charge you with DUI. Without those, it’s basically guaranteed a decent lawyer will get the charges dropped.

Eugene Monroe: [turns release from Ravens into pro-marijuana screed]

Right on, man. When are big market teams like the Rays gonna stop taking all the attention?

Jesus Christ there may be no more insufferably, inexplicably defensive fans than Baltimore fans. Shut the fuck up.

I wish my dick was that wide.

These two deserve each other.

Write it down folks, today is the first day a professional sports league had problems with TOO MUCH interest in a Tampa Bay franchise!

“Few people seem to care about our sport. What’s the move here?”

I’m glad Miggy battled through and conquered his own off the field demons from earlier in his career. He is fun to watch, not just because of how great of a hitter he is, but also because of how much fun he has during the game. He’s someone who loves playing the game, and it shows.

potential stakes of contact sports

Jesus, this is awful. Thank god he never forgot how to ride a bike.

It’s the only sport I watch where you can lead for the majority of a game and then lose in the span of a couple minutes.

Have you ever seen them in a room together?! I think not!

The only reason he joined Twitter is because someone told him he could block people.

Why would Kawakami agree to alter the terms from “lunch” to “dinner at a top 5 most expensive restaurant in the country”?

Yes, exactly like this take. Thank you for the example.

It’s known as preventive officiating. The same theory as basketball officials talking to players during a game, football officials instructing lineman not to hold (and prevent a penalty against them). It’s the exact reason a good official does that sort of thing; so they DON’T get involved in a game

Why not? Your mom stayed up with us too.

Off camera, James Harden’s baby fell down and kept screaming for two.