“Fewer”
-Stannis Baratheon

Two months ago I was fired from my job for sexually harassing my boss but at a minor league hockey game yesterday I caught a t-shirt from the t-shirt cannon despite being in the nosebleeds. Redemption truly is a long and winding road, but it is rewarding.

I can never understand the HS jock/bully mentality of “What are looking at queer? Now put this in your butthole while I pee on you.”

“I asked Cindi if the Lakers intentionally lost in the 86 playoffs to avoid the Celtics, who were the best team of all time, and she said she didn’t know. I really have to rethink things now. I feel like Billy Zabka at the end of Karate Kid.”

NEXT WEEK ON ANY GIVEN BACHELOR...WILL SYMANTHA GET THIS ‘TEEN WOLF’ REFERENCE? BILL GETS CAUGHT DRUNK TEXTING SAGE STEELE, IS HE HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS? AND THE LADIES HAVE A CONTEST...A SWIMSUIT CONTEST *boiiiiingaoingoing*

Can we all agree that Bill Simmons, regardless of current marriage status, should be the next Bachelor? Watching vapid women attempt to listen to his takes with a straight face would be primetime TV gold.

You need a synopsis at the end. These articles are just too long to take in as a food article containing a recipe. I like to cook a lot, and I am interested in reading a synopsis, at the end, that will inform me if there is something I am likely to learn from it. Then, as time allows, maybe I read this Russian…