But you repeat yourself sir...

If you took the badges off of 10 crossovers and put them side by side I would have a hard time telling make and model, they all look like eggs on wheels to me.

I don’t think so, but to be fair the type of people who buy the new Blazer probably couldn’t pick the old Blazer out of a lineup and thus it is just another car name.

Indeed.  The Aztec doesn’t seem as ugly as it once did because ugly crossovers have become the default.

Right you are, the word democracy doesn’t appear in the Constitution or the Declaration of Independence. We live in republic, have since the very beginning. Don’t like it? Change the Constitution.

Oh yeah, many times over. Nazis, fascists, Trumbos, Trumpkins, all of the standard memes and silly nicknames, it’s all there. I guess what they lack in originality they make up for in enthusiasm!

Dude, you’ve really done it now. The opressed, righeous keyboard-warriors from Jezebel and Root are cracking their knuckles and consulting their extensive lists of snarky Trump nicknames as we speak. Get ready for the hurricane!

Broncfaux. The off-road cosplayer Bronco.

Looking for a lifted sports car that can handle rough roads and trails better than my slammed Wrangler, thanks!

Don’t say that too loud. Hatchbacks are for poors and minivans are for people who have given up on life. SUVs are for awesome people who are active and adventurous!!

So he Ghosn looking like a CEO and Ghosout looking like a worker? Brillian plan!

Yeah no kidding, I didn't know that Buick sold anything besides frumpy Chinese made crossovers these days.

No car has 4 wheel stop when the roads are icy, but misinformed suburbitank drivers often think that 4 wheel or all wheel drive gives them this magic ability. This misguided belief invitably leads to bad decisions, thus the saying.

Performance crossovers are indeed lame, but even worse are the faux-offroad crossovers like the Cherokee and new “off road inspired” version of the RAV 4. Its like the owners want to project an outdoorsy, adventurous image while simultaneously being too obese and decrepit to negotiate getting in and out of a regular…

Wow I'm beating the odds! My 2016 Wrangler is only in for a serious issue about once every 6 months. Nice.

Yeah I wonder if CR weights these issues in some way...obviously a malfunctioning navigation system is much less of an issue than say a grenading transmission.

Crossover mania allows manufacturers to charge pretty much whatever they want and people will pay it. Crazy that you can buy a much nicer and truly fun to drive sedan like a BMW 540i for the same money.

I would grow a mullet and do burnouts in my high school parking lot!

I suspect that’s exactly what it’ll be. Rubberband tires, unibody, independent suspension, 500 different electric “offroad” gew-gaws in place of actual hardware. It might even come with one of those fancy hipster axes. Starting MSRP in the mid 60's.  It’ll be a big hit with well to do urban lumbersexuals.

Damn, I just paid off my fixie bike and my tab at the avacado toast place and now you are telling me I have to pay for my car too?? #fml.