This was great :)

I was at a Bears-Bucs game last year (I am an idiot for even attending that game, I know), and they honored a war vet at halftime by announcing that he was preapproved for a home mortgage. And everybody in the crowd clapped and cheered wildly.

Leave Edible Crotchless Gummy Panties out of this, you monsters.

Where the fuck are the raisins, pennies, and toothbrushes on this list? My grandma wants to know, may she rest in peace.

This thread is not at all self-congragulatory or weirdly defensive.

‘MURICA

Zucker, Abrahams, & Zucker (God bless them) did it so much better back in 1984 in Top Secret!

Eh, I’m not even all that sad, to be honest. If you had told me before the start of the season that the team would win 97 games and win the NLDS against the Cardinals at Wrigley, I would’ve told you to sign me the fuck up for that shit right away. This team’s stock is rising. Period. Compared to all the shit Cubs fans…

Heh. At least we’re not White Sox fans.

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Classic Grummit behavior. Where’s Wallace to rein him in when you need him?

Now that the Cardinals are out he doesn’t have to worry about any teams throwing at him for doing that.

“BAHAHAHAHAHA LIKE THAT IDEA COULD EVER SERIOUSLY BE ENTERTAINED. These are the Cubs, which means they’ll be LUCKY if they make it deep enough to get blown to pieces by their Gosh Brigade rivals down south.”

Who is God Wilbon? And why did his parents give him such an awful name?

I’m sure the Cardinals will throw at him for that bat flip, even if it was against a different team. You just can’t do that in baseball. It’s not The Cardinal Way®.

In other news:

This is not even a question. If you want to make a story out of nothing, go cover Donald Trump like the rest of Gawker Media.

“But we cannot blame the bear, whose world is governed by strength, not sympathy. Our kayaks don’t belong there, and neither do our tears.” –Werner Herzog