I know Tarkin and Leia in this movie will get shit on endlessly for years to come because internet, but I didn't mind them at all. Tarkin was a little jarring at first (and he looked a lot like Anton Ego from 'Ratatouille'), but after a while, I just kinda settled into it. A friend described it fairly accurately -…

That missing comma isn't exactly a pussy-eating Van Gogh, either.

That needless apostrophe isn't exactly a cocksucking Picasso, either.

Nice. The best kind.

This comment isn't exactly a fucking Rembrandt either.

Only thing I give a fuck about in any of that is the massive meal. Was it just for yourself? I bet it was, you slob.

Thank you. Every week I check in to these reviews to read the same damn thing. Why, I don't know.

We're annoyed by this guy being an asshole for laughs because it distracts from us being assholes for laughs.

He also can't drive worth a good goddamn, but he sure can eat pudding. And rollerskate. And mack on cute girls in the apocalypse. Get it, Coral.

FUCK YEAH MAGGIE WITH A GODDAM TRACTOR. They ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more. Heh.

You do you, bud.

I'm betting she's got a bush the size of a car wash mitt.

I haven't tweeted since Nov. 8, and my last one was a link to various sources of mental health consultation facilities for anyone who needed it. I figure that's a nice way to leave it for a good while. Deleted it off my phone, the whole bit. That shit is poison.

Scooby dooby Dooooo!

I like her a lot too, but why does it always look like she's got a diaper on under those shorts?

Hell yes. Have like three or four security guards tackle him, beer everywhere, hilarious.

Because he's an idiot and a dick. Really all it comes down to.

What changed is that her eyes finally stopped being a scary, flaming red color because of the infection she got in them a few weeks ago. Jessica's hot. I've always thought so.

I was honestly surprised he didn't use it last night. Using it to steal a family visit or whatever would be game-ending, but grilled cheese and beer? Who gives a shit? Besides, as you outlined, he would've had a rock solid defense to back it up. All the more reason Adam (as well as the rest of the millennial…

I sure as hell would never use that advantage. It's suicide.