Actually in this case neither. You get what Kimmel was doing right?

This is gold, nothing tops letting imbeciles make imbeciles of themselves in public.

There’s that “liberal bias” I keep hearing about at ESPN. Luckily, we have heroes like Clay Travis and Britt McHenry to defend to good name of Preside...sorry, can’t finish, vomiting out of my eyes.

He was complaining that Chicago is expensive. He’s from San Francisco, for god’s sake. That alone made me realize how full of shit he is.

I have a lot of worries in life. Not one of them involve someone’s art right next to their house. When the rest of the world’s ills have been dealt with I’ll try and find time to worry about all the rich people’s feelings.

Eartha Kitteh once saved my life! One of the pilot lights on the stove had gone out, and she woke me up by vomiting as the apartment filled with gas. We would both be 100% dead if it wasn’t for the fact that you can NEVER sleep through the sound of a cat vomiting.

Every time I read one of these sweet stories about a cat saving their family I look over at my kitty, and she gives me a look that clearly says “I would totally let you die.”

My parents watched it. They said “Wow, it was really good, but it was really hard to watch.”

I’m just here to high five this article. And you!

As a Chewbacca I tend to think of it the way I do the South and Slavery. A relatively small percentage of Southerners owned slaves and directly profited from the slave trade but almost all of them were racist as fuck and generally ok with the system as it existed, so fuck ‘em.

Back in the day, you knew it was gonna be a good school day when...

I have met Bill Nye in person. He is as wonderful, genuine and pleasant as he comes across on TV.

Victims of domestic violence retract their stories all the time. Part of the cycle.

I laughed more than I should have at this one...

I just threw up on my keyboard.