But if you took the refund and, instead, put it in the bank for the year you would have made...
{does math}
...eight cents!

Maybe they just shouldn’t go to Dick’s Last Resort.

A dog bit me, so I gave it a piece of cheese.

The "perfect parents" are just stupid people who are too dumb to realize it.

That’s pretty much how Sarah Sanders defended his statement.

We buy new cars and we replace them every 10-15 years. As long as they fit our needs and are reliable, there's no need to trade them in.

What else was she going to listen to while thumbing through Instagram and Facebook? 

We can make your king the King of the Browns. We'd love to have him. He can only do a better job than his predecessors.

My son is nonverbal and uses an AAC device to communicate. He also good out to eat every month with his friends. So he should tip more because he can’t talk? My ass.

I still hold him responsible for his words.

Without a gun in your house, you’re vulnerable, and not just from terrorists or criminals but also from the government...

Ever the moderate, I make two thin patties with cheese between them. Crimp the edges together and grill that bad boy. It still cooks fast.

Windows Vista at launch was fine if you had the hardware to run it. By that I mean gaming PC level hardware that was contemporary.

At Wade Oval I saw a small van pull up with “working dogs” on the side of it. Cleveland employs a company that uses dogs to scare away geese. Because, yes, geese shit on everything and present a bona fide health problem.

I guess he’s never heard of John Kennedy or Ronald Reagan.

As a US citizen, I’m “important enough” to question the suitability of our President to fulfill the duties of his office.

The only thing I should hear from a CEO is how great their products are. I should not know their religion, politics, favorite color, dog or cat person, absolutely nothing that could be controversial or polarizing.

Where does “politics” begin and end?

In Cleveland. But Cleveland doesn't have the best corned beef sandwich in the Cleveland area. That would be Old World Deli in Brunswick, of all places.