You, sir, are a handsome man.

Most have an angle adjustment, or you can just move your ass.

You can’t fill an engineering program with a diverse set of people if they don’t apply in the first place.

Some companys’ 401k plans are better than others.

Oh, how I wish we could see him pulled from his apartment by a trio of drunks in tuxedos.

Just call the recordings of yourself “fake news” and it magically doesn’t matter anymore.

The Browns fans still think of the Steelers as their rivals. The Browns are so bad, though, that the Steelers don’t view it that way.

So they’d pull over the person least likely to pay the fine?

It would appear that the Honorable Jason Chaffetz lacks the personal integrity to lead the House Oversight Committee. His appointment should be reviewed.

Even easier: how fast is everyone else going? Go that fast.

At least Ben Carson didn’t lie. That’s more than you can say about Trump, Pence, et al.

Jon Gruden and Frank Caliendo as Mike Ditka - that’s something to fill my commute every morning. Toss in some Herm wisdom every couple of days and boom! Ya gotta show.

It’s the best thing on ESPN, which explains a lot.

It’s Subway. It’s going to suck, paper or no paper.

What about federal funding? He can put on the squeeze on organizations who won’t play ball. The sky’s really the limit here.

If you’re not chopping it, you can just smack it with the palm of your hand to break the skin away. Working with garlic is super-easy.

That doesn’t answer why you’d believe some random poster on 4chan.

Any crime is likely to result in impeachment.