As long as there’s a taco truck across the street of each one, I’m good.

I’m still trying to figure out what his Syrian policy is, and what, specifically, he’s prepared to do about the crisis in Aleppo.

I thought that was Howard Stern calling Ivanka a fine piece of ass.

I would not suggest Googling “poophole” for more information.

I, for one, welcome yet another #MoralVictoryMonday

Yep. Which is why he’s too dangerously stupid to be anywhere near the Oval Office.

I love that guy.

Because saying, “I’m a normal-ass human being, thus I find Trump disgusting” doesn’t leave much wiggle room.

Schwing!

Debate prep is too much like work. He’s too old and frail to work very hard.

Timing fail.

I think she will, though, to make the RNC spend some of their money in the Bible Belt.

Using the Shaggy defense.

Chappacuntdick

He was married.

Some people are very slow learners.

He also said, “your stink-foot puts a hurt on my nose.”

With the full-throated endorsement of the Republican Party.

As long as that NEECO wafer is safe. It’s the only candy in the world made of chalk.

Phrasing!