Well, it almost was when you idiots last ran it.

Yes. Lets listen to the guys who decided that spending $5 Trillion and 5,000 American lives to accomplish nothing was a good idea. I take that back, it did lead to the creation of ISIS so I guess that’s doing something.

And nothing of value would be lost

In the meantime, China has infused all Apple devices with a small charge that can be remotely detonated, enabling China to exterminate all hipsters, tech-savvy baby boomers, and all of Gawker media.