I ref squirt and peewee leagues. ($36 per game). Even 10-year-old defensemen get salty. I gave a misconduct to a kid for calling me a “fucking asshole” when I caught him buttending an opponent on a faceoff. Since these kids can’t and shouldn’t drop the gloves, you have to drop the hammer. I gave him a major penalty…

Rowing. I would just say “If this thing is so long, why don’t they call it columning??” so much that other rowers would beat me to death with their oars.

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge