I came for the rant about Bradford.

The corrections these mistakes forced them to place at the bottom of the article are priceless:

We’re so close I can almost taste it.

Funny, I thought this stadium was already enough of a middle finger without the presence of an bird.

Never. Ashley is Gawker now. I, for one, welcome our new queen.

Somehow, the NFL has created a way for Seahawks fans to become even more insufferable on Twitter.

Or worse yet, Goose Gossage or the BFIB.

We deserve a redo of the 2016 version...or at least a profanity-laced Vikings-centric segment in the Week 1 Jambaroo.

Coincidentally, Toledo used to be a part of Michigan...until they lost that, too.

The former referee who served as CBS’ in-game officiating “expert”

If only there was some way of keeping him from coming back into the United States...

Ashley, when will you get your own subsection on Deadspin? I know it’s only been a week, but it’s long overdue and overdeserved.

Without context, that .gif had me thinking that Boehner had been forced to become a bus driver in order to make ends meet.

Sadly, the Cardinals won tonight, goddammit.

Somewhere, Draymond Green is crying.

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO SAMER, TOM????

I’m not so sure of that, anymore: he did go to Harvard...just like their entire front office.

He forgot Mr. Miyagi’s training: wax on, wax off.

Hey now, Patrick, at least show the guy some respect and refer to him by his full name: Former Cavaliers Player that the Front Office of the First LeBron Regime Deemed Too Integral to Part with in Order to Acquire Amar’e Stoudemire, J.J. Fuckin’ Hickson.