Yo Dallas PD, cut the kid a break; not even Manziel is big enough of a douche to spell “Jonathan” with TWO h’s.

Whatever the line is, I’ll bet the over.

One addendum: if there ever happens to be a play that is reviewed due to some esoteric rule being enforced by the officials, just assume Mike Carey is wrong.

There's a Redskin/Indian casino joke in here somewhere...I'm just too drunk to think of one.

“Honestly, I’m not a fan of wings; I prefer the breast.”

I wasn’t convinced this was real.

By watching the video at this link and having my soul uplifted.

Are we sure she’s not just playing Hokie?

Fully incidental proofreading error on my part, but as a fellow grammar pedant, I suppose I should thank you for your services.

Congratulations, Los Angeles Chargers fans! 30 years from now, after the owner with the initials “D.S.” who moved the team from San Diego to make it LA’s second team is forced out of his ownership on account of his being an insufferable racist asshole, your team will make the playoffs 5+ years in a row! Sure, you’ll…

Yes, but really only after this

This list...I mean, there are only so many times that a man can hit his head without succumbing to the physiological limits of the human body. I’m no expert but I am truly concerned about Mr. Long’s future mental health. Assuming that it doesn’t interfere with his professional or personal life, I hope that Mr. Long…

I’ll go listen to The Book of Mormon soundtrack right now!

Is this what we are calling the Republican debates now?

I spent 10 minutes trying to think of the perfect center and godfuckingdammit, I blanked on the one imortalized as Blanko in Space Jam. Fuck. Just fuck.

Pretty sure that the latter title belongs to the real-life Hasheem Thabeet.

I don’t know, Tom. Personally, I think that it’s only proper if Statue Shaq brings the statue backboard crashing down.