I can’t believe I’m going to suggest that you sacrifice the manual transmission requirement... but if so, you can have one of these!! And let’s be real, as cool as these AWD wagons/cars are, they don’t offer the ride height to tackle the Moab and heavy snows of Utah.

A haircut. You should buy a haircut. Fucking man buns. Jesus Christ.

I’m a recent victim of car theft, and an itching enthusiast.