Sometimes I will mindlessly mutter to myself "Oh hey y'all" in a Paula Deen voice over and over and over again. I don't know why. It soothes me. It sounds like "Oh hayow."

More Flora please. *melts*

…for you.

Oy Yoi Yoi!

♫ Dust in the wind,
♫ All we are is a fidget spin… ♫

It's an incredibly touchy subject, but I think people will need to eventually broach the subject of toxic masculinity being a LOT more toxic in minority communities (which is saying something, consider how toxic it is already in the white community). I'm honestly not super sure why it is, but it definitely is. It's…

It's a real catch-all solution.

*summons the devil*

That's a lost list of demands about lighting considering he ended up looking like a fucking football.

Dear Johnny Chicken Wing Eater,

Well this is awkward.

That story is proof that "Blue Lives Matter" is a nifty way of saying "Black Lives Don't Matter."

As Mike Birbiglia pointed out, if you have to end a joke with "I'M JOKING!" maybe you shouldn't be telling jokes.

I was thinking Zimmerman as in George, not Shlomo.

Article: There's a reporter named Malia-
Conservative: That's bad!
Article: -Zimmerman.
Conservative: That's good!
Article: She wrote some fake news-
Conservative: That's bad!
Article: -for Fox News.
Conservative: That's good!

WHAT DID HE KNOW, AND WHEN DID HE KNOW IT?
also WHO ARE YOU, AND CAN YOU SUCK YOUR OWN DICK?

I just know she's looking down at us right now from Kevin.

I think if we all pool our money, we can buy out Kinja. Prevent the unthinkable.

You're not very familiar with me, are you?

They call that a Reverse-Wahlberg.