I’m still not watching TV news. this is one of the only news sources I can stomach because the writers are just as horrified as I am.

Not only that, but are you allowed to essentially run the biggest business in the country out of your apartment? Yes, it’s a huge apartment and he owns the place but aren’t there rules against this? I remember it being a storyline on The Good Wife and I get most of my legal advice from television.

Oh god, my FB memories just recently showed me a post I made about what an apocalyptic nightmare scenario a Romney presidency would be. I want to find a time machine and go pat my past self on my little head and tell myself “oh just you wait my precious, naive little flower. Just you wait”.

Don’t be a dick. Even if she agrees with the toolbag, she’s offering sound political advocacy advice to an obviously liberal audience.

Y’know, if I was driving my car down the road, having struggled to get up to 55 but now cruising comfortably, and I spied someone up the road a ways throwing out a spike strip, setting heavy equipment in all lanes and planting mines in the roadway, I do believe I’d be inclined to park it on the shoulder, toss the keys…

See Kim Davis, this is the way to follows one’s conscience when faced with a personal dilemma.

Hey, Melania was only taking the job no American would do.

Also, he wears his ugly soul on his face. Actually, they all do. But Ivanka hid hers with plastic surgery.

A friend of mine insists on only referring to Barron Trump as “Melania’s anchor baby”, which gives me life.

Yeah, but none of them have much of a chin. Trump sperm ran out of chins by the time it got to Tiffany.

Right? He just looks so sickly and pale. I would never tell anyone to get one of those ridiculous spray tans, but damn. Walk outside for good 10 minutes a day at least.

They’ll just accidentally “misplace” the launch codes, and then give Trump some ice cream and turn on the bachelor while they “look for them”. He’ll fall asleep in front of the TV and forget all about how mad he was.

According to exit polling (only data I’ve seen), veterans went Trump 62/31, but active duty went Clinton 50/45.

Not pre-emptive, just, in the moment that his alzheimers really kicks in and he wants to nuke Poland for sending him those undocumented workers or whatever.

Get your guesses in now...does his waist expand or shrink from the stress of the next four years? 

Probably “Maverick” is hoping the photographer will save him. “Now’s my chance! This time I’ll make it!” poor Maverick is likely thinking.

Silver lining: Ivanka (born October 30 1981) is 22 days from being free of her Dad’s attention.

That’s the thing I truly can’t process. This guy who was born into wealth and has been gaming the system his entire life . . . is going to lead a middle-class revolution against the East Coast establishment that made him who he is? Mind-boggling.

After last night, I literally cannot wrap my mind around the idea that any sane person would think he is qualified to serve as president. He’s the worst sort of thin-skinned, narcissistic, no-nothing bully.

I have a drag queen who lives in my basement and has a room just for gowns so Barbra Streisand and I are the pretty much the same person.