And here I was, making vinyl decals with my phone number on them.

By then, Travis had come to terms with death.

Is "tailors" OK with you? I didn't mean to imply any sexism, although all that hypermasculinity you just described seems a bit sexist as well, no?

Now this is the part where I quote something out of context.

ooh, ohh, is this the part where I bring up Hitler? or does that come after we call each other names for a little while?

You stated an opinion on religion, so I, as an internet user, must violently disagree with you.

I'm religious and so I see some divine intervention. You may not be and may see this as coincidence or luck; that's fine too. In any case I hope those people realize how fortunate they are not to mention the driver of the corolla too, cause he/she was a few inches away from ruining some lives...including their own.

Congratulations, Mr. citizennick, on today's COTD! My award to you is a Chevy SS which this lovely lady will deliver to you when she figures out how to get in it.

Congradz on achieving COTD citizennick - we all join this not-so-burned-out sun-glassed Kentucky hotty-fox in raising a frosty toddy to your success. Cheerz!!

Shares on the NASDAQ. It's a stock exchange where grownups trade cash and company ownership

My video would be "How to drive an Automatic"

"Wait. Wheres Iowa?"

-Average Californian/New Yorker

That's article 4 section 67b of the Gawker Media contract, all bloggers must wear pants and on every third Thursday of odd months in the afternoons they must perform Hamlet in the voice of Andy Dick whilst fondly stroking one's own mutton chops which must be died green in honor of the Irish and their plight during the…

For the three month "tryout" period he's paid like a contractor, albeit one who can make a large bonus for bringing in a lot of traffic. After that it's wide open and depends on what makes the most sense. Some people prefer to freelance so they can pursue multiple opportunities, whereas other people prefer to be…

That's why the FAA requires you to have your seatbelt fastened when you're seated, and why the flight attendants/pilots will tell you to leave your seatbelt on while seated.

This is why I never take of my seatbelt unless I have to move from my seat.

It won't be long.....

(Presumptuous) Translation: this poor kid has trainwreck parents, so a nice aunt and uncle take pity on him and get him a menial job in the family real estate business. He probably isn't paying rent in his aunt's house, and everyone's gotten to the point where they know the situation isn't working, but the kid has no…