Paul Ryan’s too stupid to get the irony that he quoted a Canadian singer-songwriter who, by virtue of his citizenship, has universal health care.

They are counting on voters in states like Michigan and Ohio being hateful bigots. The tragedy is that they are probably right.

The gin comes in three different flavors, if you will: 1939 Flathead camshafts from the Mexican desert, $1,279.46; 1947 Knucklehead screw-nuts from Chile, $1,163.25; and 1962 Panhead rocker arms from South Korea, $1,046.83.

“This Gin comes from a Harley that was on border patrol which prevented filthy Mexicans from taking our jobs.”

Fun Fact: Not only is this cheaper than buying Harley parts at a dealer, but you also get free Gin.

(ROFL no it’s not, fuck this guy)

I’m going to do the same with old dildos.

It’s a Harley thing, you wouldn’t understand.

the flame-breathing magical lizards hired to replace the earlier flame breathing magical lizards who were sacked after being killed by a ballista wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.

This is an acceptable response. With this kind of customer service, I’m sure to be back tomorrow.

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

Only problem is the leftover whites would make shitty slaves, cause you know white people don’t know how to work, cook or clean.

/s.

Pretty sure there will be plenty of white walkers.

The rotors on the bus go round and round and up and down and all kinds of crazy directions.

“Went to school in Boston” is the preferred phrasing. Don’t be gauche.

Why can’t all teens be bitter, emotionally crippled, Tom Waits-loving alcoholics like I was at 17?

I thought we covered that on “insane whiteboy shit”

Footage of this guy is the best ISIS recruiting video ever.