In situations such as these, I like to remind myself that there is at least one sane law enforcement officer in America.

This is why the American public is averse to space travel — they're afraid they'll be forced to route and splice cables.

Tears of joy, or despair?

9 1/2 Quarts

Hold onto your seat:

"It's wound-licking good!"

What a great visualization. That's a lot of area covered.

You would hope so. Picking his battles.

Ah, crap. Now Pinkham is gonna nail us for talking about physics.

It's mostly safe to handle because the skin blocks the alpha radiation, unlike the esophageal and stomach linings. Once inside, it can do some damage.

Rand Paul was apparently struck by Stupid's Arrow.

Uranium is natural. Benzene is organic. But I wouldn't eat them.

During the Purges it was one of the primary intake/processing centers for GuLag-bound comrades. Solzhenitsyn spends about 400 pages describing every last detail of its interior. The big joke at the time was "Lubyanka is the tallest building in Moscow — you can see Siberia from the basement."

Can robot mimes be far behind?

Well, Dawn Gets the Grease Out, so not grease.

I knew I should have taken that left turn at Kolob.

Well, thanks, but top comment? We can't even get out of the greys!

#NOTALLCAPS

Thanks — due dilligence!

That looks too much like a legitimate circuit. Something more like this: