"Perhaps an anniversary, maybe a retirement party, maybe your goddamn mother-in-law only ever eats at five-star Michelin-rated restaurants."

can we get one on how to cut your hair like an adult... i'm 20 so i just graduated out of the buzzcut for sports season and actually have longer hair (like it barely touches my ears) for the first time... my dad is no help since he's a sold out hippie who went from hair to his shoulders to balding executive

Even though he's not on the Giants anymore, it's great to see Brian Wilson still supporting Bay Area teams.

Kind of like the Cuyahoga River!

When you asked him if he knew where the server was, he probably thought you meant the waitress.

He was a day trader, maybe she was just a long term investment.

I would star your reply, but then Kinja would tell me that you only had one star instead of the current 31 you have. Someday, God forgiving, we will develop computers that can perform simple addition. People like Nick Denton will be able to afford them.

That's the part I don't understand either — new foods/dishes were prepared for and offered to them, and they didn't even want to try it! Wrong on so many levels, including being ungrateful.

I expected him to grab another waiter (server).

Welp.

I once had a very difficult office manager that was the most technologically inept person I have ever met (35-40 years old). I don't think she had ever owned a computer in her entire life. Every time she would call me over for something tech related I cringed. I have many stories, but here is the best:

If I were your dad, I would have said:

Excuse me, but unless you have a documented allergy or you are a vegetarian/vegan, you do not show up at my house bringing your own food simply because you don't like what I have prepared. If you want to eat here, you will put that food away, apologize for the insult, and eat…

you know you're on a technology blog, right?

Then get them over medium, the proper way.

"Nicholas manages to grab a secret gun, which will presumably be used in the finale, Chekhov-style."

7) Last but certainly not least, while on their search for survivors Aaron and Daryl find a pile of zombie body parts, and then the corpse of a woman who was tied to a tree, alive, for zombies to snack on. She has a "W" carved on her head.

Get your damn logic out of here.

Is it not EXHAUSTING to hold down the shift key for every word? And does this person believe that's how you're supposed to write sentences? This is not the first time I've seen this phenomenon. THESE ARE REAL QUESTIONS I HAVE.

Wrong...there are several parking lots that don't have the mandated 10-1 ratio of standard spaces to handicapped. I know this because when my wife in her handicapped converted van needs a spot and there aren't any...just for fun I'll count the spaces to see. Let's not forget that even if you do have "enough spaces"…

"You folded the mirror once? That's $2500 off!" -Rod