"Perhaps an anniversary, maybe a retirement party, maybe your goddamn mother-in-law only ever eats at five-star Michelin-rated restaurants."

can we get one on how to cut your hair like an adult... i'm 20 so i just graduated out of the buzzcut for sports season and actually have longer hair (like it barely touches my ears) for the first time... my dad is no help since he's a sold out hippie who went from hair to his shoulders to balding executive

Even though he's not on the Giants anymore, it's great to see Brian Wilson still supporting Bay Area teams.

Kind of like the Cuyahoga River!

I would star your reply, but then Kinja would tell me that you only had one star instead of the current 31 you have. Someday, God forgiving, we will develop computers that can perform simple addition. People like Nick Denton will be able to afford them.

That's the part I don't understand either — new foods/dishes were prepared for and offered to them, and they didn't even want to try it! Wrong on so many levels, including being ungrateful.

If I were your dad, I would have said:

Excuse me, but unless you have a documented allergy or you are a vegetarian/vegan, you do not show up at my house bringing your own food simply because you don't like what I have prepared. If you want to eat here, you will put that food away, apologize for the insult, and eat…

Then get them over medium, the proper way.

Get your damn logic out of here.

I don't know, I'm pretty glad these guys shared their pictures with the Internet. I love pictures from urban exploration, especially when it's from abandoned stadiums. It's fascinating and lovely, in a melancholy kind of way. And I'm glad that other people have the balls to enter scary old abandoned places. I'm not…

These guys did it better, and they did it with the added degree of difficulty of doing it in total darkness.

Good God.

Attendance at Astros games is just fucking soaring.

Crap, the video I posted to go with it didn't make it...

Is it not EXHAUSTING to hold down the shift key for every word? And does this person believe that's how you're supposed to write sentences? This is not the first time I've seen this phenomenon. THESE ARE REAL QUESTIONS I HAVE.

Wrong...there are several parking lots that don't have the mandated 10-1 ratio of standard spaces to handicapped. I know this because when my wife in her handicapped converted van needs a spot and there aren't any...just for fun I'll count the spaces to see. Let's not forget that even if you do have "enough spaces"…

"You folded the mirror once? That's $2500 off!" -Rod

Gotta admire the long-con.

Anything marked with High Importance is never actually ever important. It's a signal for you to safely ignore whatever is flagged as such.

If you were the last person on Earth, why would you have any concern about fixing your car? If it breaks down, just take another one.

Doctor buys 30K Harley. Doctor buys 5K in leathers and gambling-motif'ed accessories for poker runs. Doctor then decides to ride the dragon before even completing his MSF course because his wife makes him miserable and he needs to heed the call of the loooone wolf baby.

On the dragon, doctor illegally passes van full…