One Direction going in all directions.

It’s crazy what some kids can pick up on.

Or, more specifically, she “picked it up” after it “hit Blake in the head and fell on the floor.”

I’m also allergic to lanolin, and have had the best luck with Chap-Block, which is the CVS generic for Chapstick. It’s like $1.50 per tube and it’s awesome, seriously.

A lot of handmade, vegan brands use tasty coconut oil and don’t include lanolin. Plus, they cost about the same bc Burt’s is stupid expensive for what it is.

Try a vegan one, which will use vegetable-derived oils instead. I like this one, it smells great;

Don’t even get me started...

Hillary Clinton using a sewing machine.

That's terrifying. Read a fucking book, people!

I teach a class on Children’s Literature, and it never fails to amaze me how pretty much all my students think that Walt Disney wrote every single fairytale. It is so fun to watch their minds get BLOWN with the fairytales unit. The biggest reactions happen with the original Bluebeard, Cinderella, and Little Mermaid.…

Is this the same professional snuggler that tried out for America’s Got Talent last season? It was weird then, and even weirder now. I have so many questions. Is she actually a prostitute? Does she really just snuggle? $320 a night for snuggling!?!?! I don’t get it.

This is small town life in a nutshell. People idealize and romanticize small town life, like it’s some sort of fucking paradise.
Living in a small town is a goddamn nightmare. Everybody knows everybody (*shudder*), which means you can’t take an anonymous trip to the fucking grocery store in peace. And they all know…

I would like them to replace it with an actual seal. Okay, maybe just a portrait of a seal, because what would he do there?

I am very amused that Disney cruises know the importance of condoms. All those children running around would make me never want to have a kid again.

This is one of those times when you should use the caps to indicated ‘My Stepson, My Lover’ is a title.

FYI: everything is biased. Including every news story you’ve ever watched, every documentary, and every Gawker post.

Eh, I kind of love Gaga an Taylor. A bit earnest perhaps and yeah borrowing heavily but the coupling of those two still makes me super happy. They just seem to really LIKE each other.

Wow! His wife was great!

TLDR: Christian cucumber singing of his illicit love to a stuffed manatee called Barbara - and they tango.

Eh, I don’t know. I ship random-ass people all the time. As in “Oh man I hope those two bartenders have a secret romance that they hide from their coworkers, and they go into the back room and make out all the time! They would look so adorable together!”