So first we get a Sean O’Neal knockoff in the form of Sam Barsanti. Now we’re getting Sam Barsanti knockoffs in the form of Matt Schimkowitz. Awesome.

AAVE? Is ‘ebonics’ not accepted by the teenage morality police these days?

Good thing Will Arnett isn’t a cop. For fuck’s sake, leave this teary-eyed bullshit on Reddit.

No surprise that this ‘article’ is written by Sam Barsanti, a ‘writer’ who would find a way to shit on Disney if he was writing his own mother’s eulogy.

I’m not sure how much critical thought anyone needs to have about a man who makes multiple references to drugging people in order to get them in the mood for sex throughout his career, and then gets busted for doing exactly that to unsuspecting women for decades. Seems pretty open and shut to me, and it has absolutely…

We really need to find a way to convince Barsanti to take the severance package, too.

The same thing has been happening for a while now, going back as far as when Lost was on, and probably before. I realized around the third season of that show that a shitload of people simply do not have the patience or the attention span for serializations. It’s either give me everything all at once right now, or I’m…

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I would lose my absolute shit if I ever got to meet Cookie Monster, Big Bird or Oscar the Grouch. And if it was on the set? Forget it. I’d be dead. They’d be dragging my corpse out of that place by the heels.

Accurate in all the right ways.

Haha! I almost didn’t get that. Well done.

Verdict: TRUE.

Professional football with more underlying racism. Just what we needed.

Am I legally obligated to get internet-upset about something I don’t give a fuck about?

The only future I want for the tumor is a guillotine.

I miss the good old days when you could just put on some sunglasses and shoot your way out of a problem.

I lived in Jersey for a number of years, and every now and then I’d go to Philly for some reason. Every time I went there, I encountered someone who was a complete asshole. I once hesitated for a second while ordering a cheesesteak in one of the places that is supposedly famous for them, and was then mocked by the…

one word is a parlor trick.

My favorite part of Small World is the last scene where they’re all dressed in white. It’s like some sort of puppet purgatory or something.