Because she’s the one covered in bruises?

No chance in Hell. It’s called THIRD PARTY.

So why weren’t you crying over Sarah Palin?

Yeah, it was a completely brave move to finally swallow Hillary Clinton as our presidential candidate, 25 years after she telegraphed interest in the job. The lady who sucked so hard at campaigning she blew a dominant advantage and lost to a fucking black guy. In the United White Supremacist States of America. (I…

Don’t forget, we only got the vote in 1919.

Not to sound paranoid or anything but if I had possession of the bird who is talking about an unsolved murder, I wouldn't want anyone to know. That seems like a great way to end up 6 feet under.

I was wondering this too. This whole case is crazy. She survived a gunshot wound TO THE HEAD, is now a suspect, had 3 suicide notes she claims to not remember, and a parrot is the only witness.

Why was she writing suicide notes for her family?

African gray parrots are extremely intelligent. I feel kind of bad for the little guy, witnessing his owner’s murder.

“The prosecution calls Bud.”

“It’s intense,” she continued. “When it happens, my house turns cold.”

I’m waiting for the inevitable Lifetime movie, “Murder, He Squawked”.

Way to try and help, Birdie. My dog would probably just chew on me.

I absolutely love Bob Ross. I love everything about him, his message, his humble beginnings, his persona and his heart.

“We don’t make mistakes, we have happy accidents.”

YES!! Happy little trees for everyone!!

OMG, can you imagine the shit storm that would spew from the right if Hillary nominated Michelle as a Supreme Court Justice? There wouldn’t be enough popcorn in the galaxy for that shit show.

Remember when she suggested people drink more water and people lost their shit in outrage? As if we don't all know that we should be drinking more water. Literally the most innocuous health recommendation of all time.

I genuinely think she might be a Supreme Court nominee in the next fifteen years if she spends the interim going back to law or legal education.

I understand that, according to the constitution, Obama needs to step down as president but what’s the law on Michelle staying on as FLOTUS?