Venezuelan fans are always causing quite Caracas.

[Pete Carroll rubs chin]

Like a San Fernando wake.

He would use Comic Sans.

Hey, you gotta have something for the ladies.

Just setting everyone up for his impending crash and burn.

Simmons is a 45-year-old man whose writing voice never evolved past the frat house.

Don’t they usually travel right after the game? They should be back in Houston now.

Guess we’ll have to wait one more year for “Jim Leyritz Bumper Guard Night, presented by SteelCraft”.

“

Wrestling has become, sometime in the last year, a thing that people will admit to liking again.

The first straw was being a 40-year-old wrestling fan.

“Nothing will ever grow from that patch of land.”

Is that where they buried Amari Cooper's NFL future also?

im kind of confused. what does this have to do with bill simmons

This never happened. It was done on a sound stage in Los Angeles.

“My firing reminds me of the 1980 playoff series between the Celtics and 76ers, where in game 5, Larry Legend hit 5 of 19 from the field while Dr. J put up 25 ppg in the series. Bird got smoked in game five while I sat in the rafters of the Garden with my Dad. He sat that dumbfounded for a good 45 minutes before we…

Jon Stewart: “Tommy...you cheating fucker.”

has earned the Arena Football equivalent of being waived