What “healing?”

This nearly coincided with Mark Prior’s 20th stint on the DL.

Yeah, this is kinda Rick Reilly-ish.

Thanks to Katie Nolan’s idea, I now have a new working title for my forthcoming Ortiz biopic: “Panic in Needle Park II.”

Careful, Tom. Parker’s passes tend to lead to divorce.

Cheeky bastard!

Maybe he didn’t show because he’s Moody?

Anybody else see Giri Nathan’s first name and read it as “Girl” because they’re not wearing their reading glasses like they should? Just me? Okay, then.

+one ambidextrous salute.

Mein Kampf to Score Runs.

Bruuuuuuce!!!!!!!!!!!

Invitations to Toews’ second sleepover went unanswered.

Please. This was Lionel Messi’s April Fools Day video.

In Zidane’s defense, his head never actually came off in the World Cup final. But it was a close call.

My regret is that I have but one star to give.

The ref waived off traveling due to defensive indifference.

Tell them to save that for Bodies of Water, Ranked.

Baxter, is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee. Is this Wilt Chamberlain? Have the courage to say something. Hello!

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Once a month, courtesy of my wife and Oster. Haven’t paid for a haircut since 1998.