Hell yes. Thank you, Shirley Chisolm! Thank you for everything you did to set us on this course.

Pick your day. I want a day as long as a March day, when every hour was six weeks long.

Oh, are we sheetcaking? Let me find a fork, and I'll be right there.

I just went to the grocery store and picked up a bottle of red AND white sparkling grape juice. I'm going to drink them straight from the bottle in my hotel room and have a fabulous nonalcoholic time tonight, where the only news I want to hear about is when my laundry will be done.

Nah, I felt better after that, so much so that I ordered pizza. Baby Yoda means well, but he isn’t much of a cook, and I didn’t feel like picking up some chicken soup.

I literally just threw up in the bathroom before leaving work.

I thought it was gas, with a delicate touch of nausea. Might just be me, tho. 

Finally, an overlord covered in something I can support.

I want to be junior vice president.

Or he’ll create another fake charity and use funds from donors to pay his bills, just like he did with the Trump Foundation.

Over 98.4 million votes have been cast so far, and it isn’t even Election Day yet. That gives me a lot of hope. I also feel optimistic that the turnout among nonvoters is higher than ever, and most of it seems to lean towards Biden.

You have to announce your victory on TV or he’ll never believe it’s real.

Not his, clearly. My guess is that his mother, my niece, chose that for him. Maybe next year, he'll be allowed to pick out his own.

Jezibaba is quite a looker, agreed. Right now, that look says, "I will poop in your slippers one day. Not right away, when you are expecting it. But later, when your defenses are down and your awareness has been dulled by my fake purrs. Then, and only then, I will strike. Fear my revenge feces."

I was hoping you would see this. I know you love him as much as I do.

I haven’t worn a costume since I was a kid, and since I spent most of my childhood in one costume or another, fully convinced that I was whoever or whatever I appeared to be, I got my fill. I pass out candy now, and enjoy it even more than I did when I was on the receiving end of the trick or treat.

So Ian Fleming was more into the high-class, mannerly misogyny where you keep it in cigar clubs, passing condescension to the help, and behind closed doors at home. 

That is one Darwin's Natural Selection (his full AKC name) in a nutshell.

You can almost hear the scoff and see the headshake before he accedes to this ridiculousness.

We have a mask mandate, a ban on crowds over 50, and stores are allowed to open as long as the occupancy is 50% or less than fire code max, so other than a relatively distanced line to get into Trader Joe’s, especially on the weekends, Ohio is open like it’s business as usual. Schools were also allowed to reopen and…