Christmas came early.

Roger Goodell has carefully mulled this over, because he wants to make it right.

kermit did 9/11

Definitely Not Miss Piggy

How do you know? You tried fucking a ghost before? Maybe you were doing it wrong.

DALLAS RULES EVERYONE ELSE SUXXXXXXXXX

HERO

This isn’t the first time an intern landed someone from Washington in trouble.

Enjoy your typhus.

I draw the fucking line here. We DO NOT want to see the Robert Evans MVP Watch disappear. That shit is the text equivalent of an orgasm.

For what it’s worth, these douchebros made a sign that sounds like they want to call the father’s “Daddy,” not that they want the daughters to call them Daddy.

At my school, every dorm had signs pointing to where you were supposed to go along with some attempt at light-hearted fun/bad jokes.

A Jay Gruden fat joke? Now that’s an offensive line that RGIII can really get behind.

The hunt for red October. Your man card has been revoked.

The weird thing is, if the Yankees had shown just a little professionalism themselves, they probably wouldn’t have lost 15-1.

“Doesn’t pass the “reality logic” test, no matter what the math is saying.”

I knew I'd find someone smarter than Stephen Hawking on Gizmodo.

The math may not be staggering quite yet, but it looks like it’s had a few.

The only people who hate Eagles fans more than the rest of the universe are other Eagles fans.