The self-own happening here is spectacular.

If only you’d made it 3 sentences further...

It is a very short article, yet you clearly did not read it.

Yes. Oakland, Florida to be precise. 

Feel free to add your own.

No, the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. The punishment fits because it’s fitting both this crime and all the other incredibly dangerous similar crimes he’s gone out of his way to commit on the field over the past decade. You get one DUI, you get a year in jail. If it’s your sixth one, the judge isn’t going to be…

After 3 weeks, Melvin Gordon tired of being a Sans Dinero Charger.

The determining factor is ice. Ice freezes teeth and drops in an avalanche onto your face when the glass is less than full.

No, workers do not need unions, workers need to form their own organizations, independent of the unions and the two capitalist parties

I certainly see the appeal of shorter week because right now my only real motivation is to not be hassled by people I work with; that, and the fear of losing my job.

Welcome to America in 2019, where Arians claim to be helping a Gay but really just want to set them further back.

So... a Corona?

I mean who wouldn’t dap up Reggie Bush? To go from High School straight to the NFL after a few years of not playing is an amazing feat.

That’s Reggie Bush. It’s hard to put into words.

For some reason, my favorite part of the story is that in the middle of the biggest day of Clippers history, Doc was on his way to Nobu Malibu.

Steelers fans like him again now

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

Eh. Someone already did this one in the last AB article. 3/10