Just before reading this, I spent the past half hour flea-combing two kittens I'm fostering. That said, even when theyre covered in itchy, disgusting bugs, they're cute & stress relieving (they were purring the whole time).

Oh Tay, no dude is worth it. You'll learn this when you get married & your vagine turns into rotting potpourris, like mine.

Salma has always seemed more like a talker than a listener, so I find this all unsurprising.

best comment I've read on it so far!

there wasn't tons of outrage? Does she not use the internets?

they don't carry an F size bra, therefore I give no F. My titties wait for no one.

I love that Hugh Laurie listened to Car Talk! What a sexy mutha.

"Ultimately, Wolfe received $1 million in a settlement."

I Vatican't right now.

Dear Vatican, I've seemed to have misplaced the fucks I had intended to give. Ta!

Amen!!

but...but... BRANGELINA!

kinda like you just tryin' to get attention for being an asshat!

ugh, that sounds awful, so sorry!

Being sized up by a random dude makes me want to commit murder. However, when I'm with my hubby, it hardly ever happens. Interesting.

Yep, not a single fucking TSA agent could give two fucks that this guy was being belligerent. Thank goodness for Faux Rudd.

beautiful story!

Ha! I've heard this one before, but you told it better!

HOLY SHITE

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