Yup, there's that too.

I see three reasons, which could work independently or in tandem:

I can imagine it's a Brown M&Ms situation: Bruce is there to do right by the fans, but he does need to support himself (and justify the travel expenses). So letting a lot of people get in line without paying sets a bad precedent, as much as he's probably willing to shake a hand without exchanging currency — which, by…

That will be A&E's live post-show panel: "Shh, The Men Are Speaking." Hosted by Andy Cohen.

I've only been to a handful of conventions, and even those are an increasingly distant memory, but I recall seeing people like Bruce Campbell working on a "sign-for-merch" system. He wouldn't charge for the 'graph itself, but you had to buy something from him (a book, DVD, poster, etc) to get it. Which always seemed…

I never watch the videos. I only read AV Club for the comments.

Yup, that's that. Pack it in, ladies. The jig is up.

But they're not independent. Because you know women, they always be needin' a man to do it for them.

Yeah, and how many of them can even spell FCC?

To be fair: Joel's driving never killed anyone. In that respect, he's An Innocent Man.

They must be, especially given how cheap and nondescript they look.

It would be a kind of Wario Ware-style series of mish-mashed, disconnected physical minigames. Stumbling in leg braces, swiveling your hips like Elvis, running from violent crackers, cold-cocking a date rapist, scrubbing floors with a toothbrush while your friend talks about shrimp, carrying wounded Vietnam soldiers,…

Oh, the design on those games was damn near perfect. In that they were designed to make winning impossible without dropping at least 2 quarters every stage. Perhaps the pinnacle of achievement to this end was The Simpsons OG arcade game.

Pfft. You think I could afford Park Slope, on an AV Club commenter's salary?

Ditto.

Brooklyn
We should be ashamed of ourselves

If there's a need for an actor who can play a Jekyll-and-Hyde duality with bonkers cosmic entities, you sure as shit better get the guy from Face/Off.

Here's the insanely weirdest part: My dream casting choice? Nicolas Cage. And not just for the typical "haw haw, isn't he so crazy" meme-readiness of it. I genuinely believe he's the dude.

My hope is for Warlock to be introduced as Quill's dad. It'll be a great opportunity for James Gunn to do some "absentee father" riffs with a Kooky Space Jesus dynamic.

And thanks to AMPAS's random drug testing standards, he's now disqualified from all future Oscars.