I'm nobody important. I'm from Internet.

So you guys will put this much effort into eulogizing Hannibal, but deliberately say nothing about the demise of The Dissolve?

The channel as a whole is just as obnoxious, given that they're still beholden to advertising Disney Channel shows and maintain a modern Disney design standard of being loud and shiny. What's more, my cable company has zoned XD as a higher-tier channel, meaning I'd have to pay $15 more a month to get it.

"C ya real soon!"

Ratatat is a known and positively regarded band whose last album was released five years ago, which would mean that an impending release would generate some notable anticipation?

That sweet, sweet Newtown Creek sound.

Oh, that. Okay, yeah.

You seem angry.

So your evidence is some barely coherent malcontent's personal blog, with a quote that is clearly intended as a tongue-in-cheek indictment of how far the US has been pushed to the right by conservative demagoguery?

Can you do me a kindness, and provide some citation for this claim that Maddow calls herself a Rockefeller Republican? I just scanned 12 pages of Google results and saw nothing that ties any such statement to her. Frankly, that — along with your insinuation that she's somehow pro-military buildup despite her ongoing…

"The clip is only 16 seconds long, so, please, just watch it."

It's true, your honor. This car has no dick.

I hope he chokes on a pizza. I hope he chokes on a 7 million dollar pizza. I hope his fans see it, and can never look at a pizza again without crying and shaking.

"And on the lighter side — or should I say 'heftier?' Some pleasantly plump law-abiding white people took to the streets for a peaceful, armed protest against Subway's firing of iconic former-chubbo Jared Fogle.

I guess he means Paterno, but with a bunch of extra vowels?

He's not finished fucking you just yet.

A lot of Trump real estate isn't actually him, though. He licenses his name out to developers who (apparently out of sheer fucking stupidity) want to build shit with "TRUMP" plastered all over it.

Nobody thought Obama would win over the superdelegates either.

Kill it with Polio!

That book initiated the gradual decay of my respect for MST3k, or at least Nelson's contribution to it. The whole tone was more bitter than funny or amusing; even when I could go along with his assessments, he just came off as a real jerk.