Maybe you should stop dating beverages.

I know we no longer require commenters to be funny or have a point, but can we at least require the writers to do so?

At least it's not in comic sans.

In Bristol they call this a Hannah Storm Chaser.

As a Minority who has lived here 9 years after living in the Chicago area for 20+. I can comfortably say you seriously don't know what the fuck you're talking about. The MCSO is deplorable, no doubt- and their track record of actually doing their REAL job is nonexistent, but there's no track record of racism towards…

"Hi, I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is Super Extreme DUI!"

Anonymous sources tell us that after Mixon had professed his desire to be a running back in the mold of Ray Rice, Molitor said, "Mixon, I served Ray Rice. I know Ray Rice. Ray Rice is a friend of mine. Mixon, you're no Ray Rice".

"I can't wait to hook up with guys on the football team so I can frame them for assault and rape" -Said no woman ever

-1 because you aren't funny.....at all

"That's my big fear (the fans)," said Molitor, who also is an Oklahoma student, per the paper. "

Mixon is said to be facing the maximum suspension possible for violence against a woman, or 2 games.

My ideal sports site would spend money to do its own market research.

Alien 1: So, of all of the things that they are lacking, the collective minds of the inhabitants of this planet called Earth seem to want world peace more than anything else.

Dude should have taken a play from Psycho-T's book:

This just in: Metta World Peace is still a giant piece of shit.

#Whiteboyonthebasketballcourtproblems

Shots fired.

In defense of the Qatari government, they didn't expect the workers to still be alive.

Reno v. Albuquerque? Who peed in the above-ground pool?

It makes so much more sense, and creates so much more sexual tension, if you read these comments from the bottom to the top. Or as I call it, 'ass to mouth'.