This might be cheating, because I submitted this one a few years ago to Jez (see? I'm trustworthy enough to get out of the greys - I'm an old timer!), but it remains the worst Thanksgiving:

Thankfully, I do not remember the most horrible Thanksgiving of my family, but the story has been repeated so often that it is inextricable from my thoughts of the holiday.

I think your dad ruined it, though...

It is both worse and not as bad as I am making it sound. Really I don't have much to complain about. Being kept awake by gunshots pales in comparison to being profiled or having your business burned to the ground. *shrug* it is all relative.

This isn't a horror story as much as it's a story about family craziness. My dad's family is kind of big. He's one of 6 kids, 5 boys. All of my uncles and my dad...well, they're whores. Like...seriously. They are a group of good-looking black men with former military service, good jobs and cool personalities and that…

YES! Best way to end this night.

This is not so much a horror story, more just me being a type-A nightmare that requires at a minimum not everyone around me to be a fucking incompetent dipshit. but I digress.

I know this might sound weird, but this story actually made me feel better about flying. Knowing that the plane remained safe and airworthy even after this event occurred shows just how robust these planes really are in the face of weird "black swan" events. And the fact that these events are so rare that Bombardier…

I wanna be related to you now though. :-(

I'm going to boycott Black Friday. If it takes showing the rest of America how much we mattwr by not spending money then I'm down with that. Fuck Walmart btw because they donated to Darren Wilson.

I managed to convince my entire family, my cousins, aunts and uncles, and my grandparents to not shop on Black Friday. Instead, I'm taking them out to go to the National Mall instead.

I think that when the kid is a direct benefactor of the social activism, it is okay to use them as a prop in this manner. (Even if the kid is not old enough to fully grasp the injustice)

Ugh, white people bruises. It's so annoying because black people don't bruise that easily and when we do it's harder to see. - doesn't mean shot doesn't hurt us just as bad.

I have a worse bruise than that on my arm right now from where I pulled my ipod armband too tightly.

You ARE my new friend. You and your cat gif that so succinctly sums up my feelings about so many things right now.

You are my new friend because that .gif was stolen and added to the folder.

I must have this gif!

My dog does more damage to me while napping.

This is just everything I'm feeling right now!

Yes, this moment totally calls for a cat gif.