You should hire this guy. He's all about beating Pac-Man:
http://www.i-mockery.com/mi…

Companies could save a lot of time & money on those videos if they just distributed a simple memo that said "Keep it in your pants for fuck's sake."

That's also true.  I don't know what kind of training they give these guys, but it must be pretty goddamn effective if they can keep that shit to themselves. I feel like renting out a billboard whenever I parallel park properly.

"Oh shit, I left the stove on."

"Armed & Dangerous" 4 life.

You already got a movie: the amazing Chevy Chase/Dan Akroyd vehicle "Spies Like Us."

I wonder if the SEAL who actually plugged bin Laden gets some fringe benefits, like 20% off his order at Burger King on Thursdays or a free oil change from Jiffy Lube.

I'm pretty sure "De Laurentiis" is Italian for "thick matte of chest hair covered with gold chains."

He's that guy.

My favorite episode was when he got blackout drunk during Oliver North's visit to the academy.  Especially when he couldn't remember Eric's name.

Hopefully he makes a full recovery so some day soon he can blow off work and enjoy a big piece of cake in the middle of the day.

At least this will still be more entertaining than "Perfect Stranger", aka "INSTANT MESSAGING IN MOVIES: EVEN MORE BORING THAN IN REAL LIFE"

I'm hoping and praying for Rick Ducommun to reprise his role as Walt the Power Guy.

I think he's still fucking around in space with Urkel.

I dunno, but here's ANT FARM KEYBOARD

The real question is: how many wristbands will Depp don to promote this movie?  I say 8.

He's been criminally underused since "Joe Dirt."

Oh come on, that's just entrapment.  How are you supposed to resist the urge to plunk one of them in the head with a rock?!

I'm in it to win it motherfuckers!

Each episode could revolve around Jim trying to get new spark plugs for his Fiesta or a new transmission for his Chevy or whatever hunk of shit car he had that week.