And I was like, “We’re redoing the house, babe”

You LITERALLY ignored everything else around it.

Or cue 500 comments from people who weren’t apart of Greek life talking about it like Van Wilder and Animal House were documentaries

I rather like the idea of a bouncer, with strict instructions to keep out that horrible woman and her kids.

Option the third: Tell that bitch “Peeeeeeeace!” Now your wedding has 29 guests which means one less person to not really remember having spoken to even once the entire night.

Ok, as a person who was an advanced reader as a kid and read adult books at a young age, here is my advice: Don’t censor what you kid reads. If your kid likes reading, let him/her read whatever he/she wants to read. Nothing bad will happen, there will be no permanent scars; I promise. The worst that will happen is…

That’s pretty much normal; a lot of that oohing and ahhing is, I suspect, performative.

I read your statement as: “I never liked kids. I had my own kids and I liked some of them, but not all.”

I can. Dude was a skeaze and a half. I wish I could find a gif of him very conspicuously checking a girl out as he sat across the table from Ramona.

I wrote last week that after more than three years, I finally have a new job. I still find it a little hard to believe, but I think this press release that came out yesterday is reasonably convincing evidence:

Gwen Stefani says it broke her heart for her child to have to wear glasses.

“I really don’t even think it’s intentional. Most guys just think they are taller than they are”

Was I supposed to think that was spontaneous and that she took offense?

How do you respond so quickly to articles? Not being snarky, just genuinely curious. Are you retired? Do you sit there and hit refresh ever 5-10 seconds? Or do you have a job that allows you to do it? Again, no snark- I just find it fascinating!

So she’s doing the whole “if you’re gonna call me a snake, I’ll be a goddamn viper” narrative? Interesting. If she doesn’t execute flawlessly, this is going to be really embarrassing.

Before we jump to conclusions, I think it’s important to acknowledge the violence on both sides.

The story itself contains quotes from sources who say similarly vague things like, “The marriage may be over,” and “Teresa’s...learned she doesn’t need Joe.”

That’s everyone’s favorite person, B.D. Wong!!! Have loved him ever since I saw him on “All American Girl”.

Healthy dinner and breakfast recipes: I’m a big believer in the power of quiche—one lasts me a whole week of breakfasts, and I can just make it on a Sunday and reheat it by the slice. I’m also a big fan of Buzzfeed’s Tasty section, or feel free to check out my Pinterest board of meals.

Some things from this week: