I watched a brilliant documentary about the California attack. A marine biologist speculated that orcas may have learned that they can essentially make a shark go limp (I’m butchering the explanation) by flipping it on its back and if they hold it long enough, obviously it’ll drown. Dead shark, no muss, no fuss. The…

I’m sure he’s lurking in HUD somewhere. Trump doesn’t have time to be a slumlord to minority tenants all by himself anymore.

He probably overheard someone in the White House watching a Harry Potter marathon and after of a bucket of extra crispy, had one of his usual crazy fucking fever dreams where he, Ivanka and Spicy are searching for horcruxes.

If he doesn’t make it through confirmation, expect the next nominee to be Trump’s personal bodyguard.

Andy Card was on Lyin’ Brian William’s show last night not too long after the statement was released and in the context of how untrustworthy Trump is he said, paraphrasing, if this kind of thing comes out without having passed through all military, diplomatic and legal hands in the White House, it’s terrifying.

She also has a hard time talking around those giant teeth.

36 is middle-aged now? When the hell did that happen? Oh my god, I need Ben Gay.

The camera emoji before Debra’s name means she took the picture. I’m not sure if this is the latest case of Jez author tone confusion or if Bobby was stirring the pot for some reason (there have been some anti-Messing posts - why, who knows).

I’ve been using exclusively Ayr products in and up my nose for years. My NET Dr. recommended the gel because I was getting so many nosebleeds in the winter then said I should use their nasal sprays with the gel for my allergies. Seriously, I love their products more than any other stuff I’ve tried and my ENT swears by…

As someone else noted the other day, it’s nice to see the return of Gawker at Night.

After years of trying other stuff, my neurologist and I settled on a Gabapentin-Topamax cocktail. My hair has thinned a lot but I also put some blame on my borderline hypothyroidism and becoming an old.

;)

Hump, death? Hump, death?

Is the middle finger directed at me? Because a) I was being sarcastic and b) if it is, it’s kind of rude to flip me off for a rather innocuous sentence.

I assumed most people got that my capitalization of those words was a clear sign that I was being sarcastic.

I don’t know if you’re old enough but this is all shades of Baby M and MaryBeth Whitehead.

She also timed it suspiciously close to the births of the Holy Twins.

I take Xanax and I’m offended! (not)

Bieber would be looking in a mirror admiring his baby muscles the whole time. With Hanson there’s the possibility of a tag team and guaranteed o’s. Hanson 4eva.

Are you the one who cross stitches? I know this is long but I just saw it at WaPo, died, and immediately thought it needed to be stitched on something: