No one has employed the Triple Narwhal gambit since Alexander Alekhine’s legendary self-inflicted goring in a match against José Raúl Capablanca at the 1907 Reykjavik Open.

Oh, snap.

My Joe Theismann avatar’s leg keeps glitching.

Part of me says Markelle Fultz is pulling some next level shit on the rest of the league—you know, that whole “those guys are playing checkers and Fultz is playing chess” deal. But, actually they’re playing basketball and he sucks at that.

Fultz wanted some tips from a former Sixer, so he looked up some footage of Barkley... playing golf.

Jason Witten: Hmm. (writes onto hand)

I don’t think we’d be having this conversation if I didn’t fumble the football

But Packers fans are handling this whole situation far worse than anyone else

Colin Kaepernick is not on an NFL roster.

We're all in agreement that Winston is going to be fighting for the starting job in Denver next year, out of football the year after that, trying to make a comeback in the XFL the year after that, and dead of an Arby's overdose the year after that, right?

As long as they don’t spiral out of control.

Fucking bullshit. Of all the owners in all the world...

As a former track team runner it embarrasses me that Cornell has a public association with the sport.

I would love to be so good at something that the people I’m competing against look at me like I’m cheating.

He looks like what I used to daydream when watching my son’s third grade tackle football team. Man, I would wreck those kids.

This is a weird way to tell us you drafted David Johnson first for your fantasy team.

“So that’s what it feels like to suffer a merciless beating at home.” 

I get that it’s ALL wrong and TWO wrongs don’t make a right...But I’m also a petty bitch and it’s why I don’t feel too bad when stuff like this happens to Burfict.

I don’t know if he ever actually played the role before, but in my mind’s eye, John Henry always looked like Michael Clarke Duncan.