*re-reads article*

I. Ya Mar, Blowing off studying for Pre-cal test but yolo, Harpua, Texting Steve about that Harpua, Calling Mike’s Song, Wading in a Velvet Sea

One is a pinnacle of artistic achievement in my opinion; the other is a movie where Buster Keaton did a really intricate stunt.

Not too busy, but just didn’t want to:

This is, by far, a better morning after take than the ones over on The Slot that, so far, are only blaming Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, and their voters.

I guess I don’t understand his platform that well, but I thought he took votes more from the Repubs than from Dems?

id say the jokes on this guy when he gets shot by meek mill

Maddon’s happy-crappy Positive Twitter, where I assume people will be mostly telling knock-knock jokes, sharing photos of their ugly children, and publicly praising their colleagues’ (terrible) work

I’mgoing to give you a real reply to your thoughtless little comment.

Musical instrument.

The problem is that the NFL wants to be all things to all people. Public release of medical information for the gamblers. Pink in October for the ladies. Testing for weed for uptight old white guys.

That’s....literally why I clicked the link though.

Yes. Of course he did. Because a thing that was happening was being reported on, and it was news, since he didn’t know it was going on. That’s what I did.

I clicked a link?! The fuck is happening today?!

The WNBA finals was going on?

Not for long.

Trolling Wrigleyville is Always Good. As a Sox fan I find that Cubs fans as a whole are no more awful than any group of young males with too much time and money. But Wrigleyville is a special pit of awful that deserves every cup of salt that gets poured in its rohypnol-loving wounds.

Or that they are “beautiful human submarines.” Gotta be honest, I don’t understand what that means, but if my man Bone says it, I believe it.

Did the relationship end with you shouting “WE WERE ON A BREAK!” at her?

My girlfriend of three years recently suggested that we take a break, without clarifying what she meant by that. I interpreted it as our relationship was suspended, and I was free to do whatever the hell I wanted. She interpreted it as me playing video games with my bros for a week while…