I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

Actually, it’s Ms. Chanandler Bong.

Ew you know what he has ! HE HAS A BRET MICHAELS PINK CHAPSTICK MOUTH

Hahahahaha, oh Brayden, darling, did you read that delightful new Bruce Williams column in the daily print out of the internet that one of our several butlers brought us this morning?

Wait... this is the outtake reel from Best In Show, right?

“...adoption sevices that might be available to them.”

Eh, Dennis is funny though.

Also both these guys sounds like the could be Dennis on “It’s Always Sunny”

This is exactly the type of story the author said he didn’t want submitted at the end of the article.

Didn't know calling in dead was a thing. Totally trying that out tomorrow.

Unfortunately, this has been somewhat debunked by Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings…. Law enforcement, hospitals, etc., have received no training about what to do with this campaign. In addition, there’s the problem of the viral nature of this campaign: if the black dot campaign is well known on Facebook…

Michael Ian Black has a great bit in his stand up about when his son was an infant where’s like “I can’t shake him, I can’t shake him, I can’t shake him. So I didn’t shake him... but I threw him. I threw him right onto the couch.”

I think I’m going to watch Mad Max: Fury Road yet again.

No, I think you’re just, you know, in touch with reality. There is no other time period that would be better to live in, for women at least. It’s like that Louis CK joke - white men can go to ANY time period and be like “Woo fun!” but it will suck tremendously for literally everyone else.

this makes me immediately swell with love for Tig Nataro and her unbelievably excellent Taylor Dane story...