Always keep mine in the fridge

The Handspring devices were actually really great and the company did very well. Handspring also created the Treo, which was the first smartphone worth having.

Oh my god, I remember the ‘handwriting recognition’ from my old-ass Palm V from back in the day!!!! It was actually fairly accurate, at least as I remember it. Man, those things were the shit, and then there were the Handspring cheap-o versions......

2016 America: Where a 12-year old boy is shot and killed by the police for playing with a toy and it’s his fault because he should have “known” that people would see him as a threat, while a full-grown adult who rapes an unconscious woman and tries to flee should only have to endure a couple months of jail because…

I don’t know what part of the Midwest you were in, but around here everyone thinks they are a trash bird that spends its time shitting on golf courses. And walking around with a conveniently golf ball sized head at the end of a long golf tee like neck, acting like I wouldn’t murder its smug ass given half a chance.

Bullshit. If the Ministry of Magic covered all the costs then Harry would not have needed to buy his books with his parents money.

I prefer to think that declining enrollment simply meant more families were choosing to send their children to local, public wizard day schools rather than paying all the extra to send them off to a fancy private boarding school.

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge

Whenever a reactionary says something like “because of the banking industry” I automatically know he’s got a copy of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion somewhere in his home.

I for one got a Jewry Duty letter last week, which is weird because I’m not that religious.

Under the Trump dictatorship the only exercise taught in American schools will be mental gymnastics.

The whole thing feels ridiculously out-of-touch with anything remotely ‘American’, and just as with the ‘History of Magic’ thing, the parts that don’t sound foolish and/or offensive just sound like a British person who’s never left their island, or read all that many books, thinks America must be.

Perhaps a great, or even good, man needs these products. But the Adequate Man does not.

We'd get so many false positives from the dogs getting on and off the bed all day.

Rather than condemn millennials—and those, shall we say, contaminated by them—for shirking “responsibility” through discourse, let’s acknowledge our more pressing duty: to stop policing speech, and instead welcome the voices clamoring to be heard.

How do you know when someone is a vegan?

For all parents out there: Please do not thwart your children in their endeavors to go outside, to socialize, have fun, etc. just because of your crappy religion and culture.

I’m just Joe Whitebread (actually, Sam Jewishguy, but you get my point). My stereotype was not that Muslim parents were tyrants, but that first generation immigrant parents were tyrants.

Starred for referencing a bezoar!

Apparently it’s more like a whale bezoar.