“Okay. But we’re only going to pay you $20K this year. That cool?”

I think that’s what I said?

I typed that out last night because I knew if I did it at work today, that I would be so worked up that I wouldn’t be able to function.  And then Barry had to be on his bullshit this morning and I ended up getting pissed off anyway.  But at least the futility of caring too much allowed me to go back and edit it down…

I sat in a bar, with my pregnant wife, down in Florida watching that game unfold. The nice locals next to us seemed excited for the Bears about to kick the winning field goal. I told them that he was going to miss it. I had no doubts about this and then he hit those fucking poles. Sat there in my Mack jersey, staring…

M-B houses the Distronic sensor behind a “filled in” star. When you select the illuminated star option, you have to stick with the “open” star.

Back when BMW and MB sold on substance, this kind of thing would be unthinkable. Now it’s par for the course--bougie badges beget bougie bullshit. A light-up grille is much easier to develop than proper suspension damping.

This was basically how my Little League named teams. The Lions (sponsored by local Lions Club chapter). The Pizzas (a Papa John’s). The News Eagles (local newspaper called The Eagle). The e-Cyberrats (sponsored by some computer repair shop).

I still blame John Fox for cutting Robbie Gould after he had one shitty season. I have been screaming about that since it happened, I do not ever plan on stopping.

Not as funny as a kicker named “Blewitt.”

looks like you picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue

Oh for fucks sake. I was going to just save all of my frustration to unleash on today’s Why Your Team Sucks (Bears) and then move on with my fucking life. Had a little plan to get some work done, think of a few things that have been gnawing at my soul since that fucking missed kick and then welcome all the “haha go…

I assure you, Lord Vader, my man is working as fast as he can

Los Angeles Northrup Grumman JetBombers of El Segundo

That’s because we’re a flyover state. I’m so sorry I’ll show myself out.

The year is 29371 CE.

Reached fewer people than a $5 Facebook ad.

I mean, if you’re gonna unfurl a ‘Trump 2020’ flag somewhere, you might as well do it where the people there are so stupid they went to an Orioles game in August.

And your wide receiver, Reggie Alligatorarms

Guy named “Chris Blewitt” is gonna be your kicker?  I don’t think so.  Who’s the QB ... Steve Piksix?  

¡Si Señor! ¡Si Señor! ¡Si Señor! ¡Si Señor!