ducks are awesome. He can also be used as a flotation device in the event of a water landing.

Nah man, emotional support dogs and cats are awesome. I’m allergic to both, especially cats, and if someone needs one to get through life I’m ok with it. Shit, if your emotional support dog is near me, I’m going to politely ask to pet it too, because dogs make the world a better place. Matter of fact, you should…

Tell me you wouldn’t prefer Terry Crews to the Cheeto. Shit, I’d prefer him in character to the Cheeto.

lol a fundie hypocrite. you guys are the best.

Absolutely. However, they also will be made fun of, mercilessly, for being a complete fucking rube.

tires all day. You’ve never had a car repainted huh? It’s a pain in the ass, and even if taken to the best paint shops, if you have a difficult to match/reproduce color it will never look as good as when it left the factory.

Well, you don’t want to advertise your gullibility any more than necessary.

You must have bad insurance. I’ve put in multiple comprehensive and collision claims and never had a rate increase. (Granted, the collision was found not to be my fault)

Oh, I certainly do. But our last President was a democrat, and he dealt with an obstructionist congress for 6 of his 8 years in office, and really didn’t get anywhere near as much accomplished as everyone was hoping. (The Merrick Garland cockblock should make it painfully obvious the GOP is no longer playing this game…

I’m with you, but it’s cute that you think anyone is fixing anything. The republicans clearly are planning on stalling out literally EVERYTHING, and will succeed unless the Dems win a filibuster proof majority in the senate. I want this to happen, but I also realize our country is full of backwards fucking hicks who…

Came here to say the same. Have you talked to your neighbors and coworkers? Like really talked? Some people are so fucking stupid you’d be shocked they managed to dress themselves, hold a job, and even found a mate and reproduced. It’s fucking terrifying.

If someone’s name is Lee Pace for example, actor or actress is very useful.

that’s hilarious.

If you were to make a “batting order” for the Deadspin writers, what would it be and why?

Calling this right now: You NEED Martellus Bennett on your fantasy football team. He’s going to be a beast playing for a team that knows how to use a tight end. Even with Gronk.

Ah good to know! Glad you’ve found what sounds like career happiness!

Question completely unrelated to anything: If they gave you a desk job (that advanced well etc etc) for the last 10 years of the full 20, or lets say something vastly less dangerous, would you stay? I kinda feel like the military misses out on letting someone with that much experience leave. Like any job, it seems…

Nobody? Ok, I’ll do it.

If you build an idiot proof gun, the world will build a better idiot.

Wait wait... Just rearrange the words and: “A good gun bag stops this senseless tragedy”