And have a beer with it. You know, to be ironic. Ugh.

I had two tabbies (brothers) and one could meow like the dickens. The other managed, on occasion, to kind of bleat/burp/grunt. He lived be a ripe ol’ 23 yrs of age (they both did) and he never failed to look simultaneously pissed off and humiliated every time he failed in the meow department. Sigh. I miss them boys.

More human? Less cyborg? Either way, it’s an eerie/unflattering photo. Plus, I hate him, so there’s that.

My mother was 52 and my father was 69 when I was very accidentally conceived. To say that I was a surprise is one massive understatement. And a cautionary tale for all. For serious.

Damn Kinja!!!!!! If I may RESUME MY DIATRIBE, PLEASE: The above-mentioned, practically naked child tore around the restaurant, barefoot and screaming at the top of his lungs. He got underfoot, took things off other patrons’ tables and told a waitress to “puck off” when she offered to bring him back to his oblivious…

I witnessed pretty shoddy behaviour by kids and adults alike in a family diner in my neighbourhood. This redneck lot plonks themselves down — six adults, two small kids — and were the loud, obnoxious dolts you’d expect. The boy, aged 3 approximately, decided to strip down his diaper (yes, at that age, a diaper) and…

Is this the tidbit of perfection you were referring to?

Yes!!! I see it - the eyebrows, the face shape(s)...perfect.

That stinks! And you didn’t let us down (I am speaking for everyone which is presumptuous of me but still) — Star should BURN IN HELL for messing with Double Creature, that great American institution which means so much to so many. You did good. Star did bad.

I will do my best. I did manage a blurry pic a few weeks ago but Milkshake came out resembling Bill Maher which was disturbing, to say the least.

As do I.

With a dollop of Michael Jackson circa 2007....either way, chilling.

Congratulations! That’s a very cute dog and, now, THE GLAMOUR OF IT ALL!!!!

Do you pronounce Benzema like Noxzema? If so, that’s pretty great.

One salient suggestion: NO MANSPREADING OR SHOVING YOUR NUTS IN THE TECHNICIAN’S FACE (see above photo for reference).

I hear you. I acknowledge his incredible season/post-season but I hate his guts all the same.

Fun Fact: one of the “experts” is named Dr. Pepper.

Shocking, right? Speaking realistically for a second (I know, I am putting too much thought into this), this guy seemed to cram everything into the “I speak my mind and therefore I can say anything I want to” suitcase, and let the crazy/anger/explosive temper come flying out while they were filming. And he’d call…

And he had a propensity for shawl-collared sweaters.

Oh, it’s a “social experiment” — didn’t you know that? They bandied about that term every fourteen seconds, to justify bad behaviour and to give this trainwreck some sort of purpose.