Me, too. I also took note when he alluded to his grandfather verbally abusing his grandmother, then said that he wanted a marriage just like his grandparents’.

Especially when we have zero chance of actually seeing them.

My neighbour referred to a “wiener wagon” the other day. Do you think it means what I think it means?

God. You deserve a Purple Heart for that battle, man.

You did better than me — I was going to say Endtourage. You win.

Because I am poor and not in the know re pretty things, is this the actual box that Louboutin shoes come in? If so, I would covet the box almost as much as the shoes.

You can buy those squat stools at Walmart, according to my husband who has been hinting since Xmas for one as a Father’s Day gift. It seems to not matter that he’s no one’s father.

I think the companion horse is, in fact, the pro horse’s best friend so your wife is going to like that part. From what my father told me (and he knew the ponies), companion horses are usually raised with the contender and they build a solid and lifelong bond. The friend provides protection, comfort and play. I…

I really wish that I was around to see Secretariat run — I was two years old, so I was alive but not alive enough. I’ve watched the videos a million times, but it must have been incredibly thrilling to see that on live TV. Today, I screamed and carried on like a crazy person and I knew that I was seeing something…

I know! I haven’t gotten past my front porch all day and have rationed my fluid intake so I wouldn’t miss anything whilst on a pee break. I’ve pretty much gone through a whole thing of Clear Eyes to combat the eyestrain. Not complaining, just sayin’.

Right? Smooth as fucking silk with a stride that brings a tear. The jockey said that he knew they’d win after rounding the first bend. After that, as you said, he just let him fly. Spectacular.

Hey, I didn’t invent it — I didn’t phrase that with much eloquence, though, I admit. Give me a break. I had a bad day and am on my third G&T. Telling me to fuck off gave me the sads.

Point taken! And, yeah, why DO people do that? If you’re going to be a nice person and do a nice thing, part of that is not crowing about your niceness or making it sound like you, in fact, discovered gravity. Jesus.

Not for the first time, the internet is - gasp! - wrong, wrong, wrong.

The guy I dated last summer bought me things, too! Three, count ‘em, bananas (for smoothies because I had dental surgery and couldn’t eat solid food for a few days). He never let me forget that he had to DRIVE to two different corner stores to get them.

One of my cats (RIP, Ozzie) used to wrap himself around the base of the toilet to sleep. It got so I moved his ice-water and food bowl to the bathroom so he didn’t have to leave his summer resort.

He’s a keeper. He went out and bought you an AC? Yep, that’s marriage material right there.

Nope. I live in Toronto and summer here is a hot, nasty swamp. Unrelenting and disgustingly humid — easily over 100 degrees, Farenheit most of the summer. Much of Canada suffers through at least four months of draining, sweltering temperatures. You can have my AC when you pry it from my cold (hopefully), dead hands.…

Many thanks! I am ashamed to say that I never saw The Goonies (I know) but I think I will remedy that on the ready.