“consuming bleach will treat various illnesses—acne, flu, malaria, HIV, hepatitis, cancer, and autism.”

My wife’s ‘hall pass’ celebrity would be Christopher Walken.

citation needed

Yeah, that’s gonna be a ‘No’ from me dog.

Straight up now?

I have a friend who used to manage a Starbucks in LA and she said Paula used to call at least twice a week trying to order Chinese food, so...

I had no idea she was this qualified to be President.

Rule change! Only one team gets to enjoy the timeout. The other team has to do jumping jacks until the timeout ends. Real ones too. It’s a technical if someone just moves their arms up and down and doesn’t actually jump.

Not to be all “get off my lawn,” but this is entirely his fault - he should have called “behind you” to his fellow kitchen worker, instead he created a situation where he had to bail out a teammate as a result of his own malfeasance. All I see here is a showboating glory boy. 

There are a lot of ways that could’ve gone wrong. His footwork is the real key here. He keeps his left foot down once the hit occurs and pivots with the trajectory of the pizza so it doesn’t land on his shirt, fall to the ground or get scalded with grease. He then backs it up to let the momentum of the pizza do the…

“bruuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

Bike riders are easily the worst. Fuck those clowns n their Lance Armstrong cosplay outfits all bombing down the rail trail at a whopping 15 mph like they’re training for the Tour so they can go to the craft brewery later and sit around in their too-tight shorts trading Strava readings while complaining that the IPA…

Having seen a taping of WoF years ago (it absolutely sucked shit) I can say they 100% never fucked. Even as a teenager the fact that she barely tolerates him was palpable. Having to sit through his shit for three episodes, I can see why. Pat sucks.

I used to work with a guy named Charles Charles Charles. He showed me his driver license to prove it. I was never able to decide if his parents were my least favorite people on earth or most favorite.

If anything, this isn’t even close to better. This is worse. Much worse. Scuzzier and slimier worse. It’s like Steve Bannon took Trump to his hair stylist. 

lol

It remains unclear what specific ailment Assange may be suffering from.

As a Boston native, I think I know how this went....

“Paula Abdul threw a hat at me once.  It was awesome.”