Fact: Doctor Who is based on the adventures of Burt Reynold's mustache.

Fact: Burt Reynolds is Kim Kardashian's real father. And yours.

Fact: One look from Burt Reynolds can stop oncoming traffic. And disintegrate everyone's underwear.

Is there any way Jezebel can have like, a blacklist of seriously racist/sexist/horrible people so you can be consistent throughout the website about who to praise?

Well, this article just taught me I have a micro penis, despite being of average erect length. Thanks Mark...

The first time I saw my husband's dick in the light of day was while skinny dipping in a VERY cold river. He was extremely shy about it and there were all kinds of cold-water-disclaimers involved, but I was like, "Dude, I've already interacted with your dick. Don't worry, I know it's fine." Body image issues: not just…

I just watched the micro-penis episode of New Girl, so I'd like to say that we all have micro-penises. They may not be physical, but they are all there. My micro-penis is that I never finished college. This is not a serious comment for everyone boiling with rage right now.

Ok, good, because I've spent many a time with many a dick in many a state and have seen under 2 flaccid become a perfectly pleasant 6-ish in go-mode. I was amazed at the number of micro-penises I'd encountered in 10 years and 11 partners.

Yeah. All my junk has completely disappeared inside me while wading icy rivers. I'm pretty sure they're talking about a room temperature measure at the least.

I think it's okay to have a preference for dicks that are not small and further I don't really give a rat's what your penis thinks about small boobs or the fact that this was posted on Jez and there is no counterpart about gaping vaginas. Women are told by everyone and their mother both directly and indirectly that…

Yep. I mean, TMI probably here, but by the article's description I'd have a micropenis. Yet when the fun times with the wife begin, I've always been a little bit too large for her.

You might be on to something. After rereading I assume it's supposed to be erect. I mean glacier runoff can do some crazy things am I right?

About how women with small tits are a non-issue and can still find people who want to have sex with them regardless? That sounds fine.

Why is this not worthy of a Jezebel post? It's about how gender stereotypes don't actually matter to regular people. That's pretty Jezebel-worthy.

I think you probably mean "slightly longer than an inch, erect." Flaccid size means nothing to ultimate length or girth.

"Burt Reynolds' kiss makes you gay."

Speaking as a female lawyer of reproductive age: fuck this judge. My coworker is set to give birth any day now, and she has had absolutely no problem getting things continued. I have worked with many attorneys who were pregnant or new parents, and no judge has ever side-eyed them for wanting a continuance based on…

Not compared to the walking germ presiding over that courtroom.

I am a liberal southerner and I LOVE seersucker! I will NOT let conservatives ruin it for me!

WHY WOULD ANYONE TAKE AWAY THE GLORIOUS SEERSUCKER SUMMER SUIT?!

I think Tucker Carlson ruined bow-ties for the GOP when John Stewart went on crossfire and hung Tucker by it.